I Would Have Despaired…But…

I am surveying a land that was painted completely differently when it was first offered to me.

I feel like I am in a cold desert. Bereft of so much, I am having to rely on the Lord as I never have before.

I feel the typical waning confidence of getting steeped in new responsibilities. But in addition, I am facing a trial that I didn’t expect, and my heart longs for wisdom and forbearance in the midst of it.

I feel akin to David as he prays in Psalm 27: “When You said, ‘Seek my face,’ my heart said to You, ‘Your face, O Lord, I will seek.’ Do not hide Your face from me…”

I take comfort in how he responded to the advancing of his enemies: “I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and let your heart take courage; yes wait for the Lord.”

I have been honest with the Lord, and he knows that I am tempted to run. But with his help, I am waiting, learning how to wait, and praying that I do so with humility, gratitude and faithfulness.

That’s all. Thanks for letting me share.

Next time I promise to tell you about some funny things and some blessed things, like my new old car named Betty White and dewy mornings  on cliffs looking over the Pacific…

Until next time…

 

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